If I had a choice or rather a vision to see further, I never would have guessed that we'd end up here. Some days i feel fine but other days, other days like this week, I don't feel fine. All I wanna do is run into your arms and cry and ask you how did we end up here?
Days like these, I cannot comprehend how we can go through so much together but yet some one else is holding your hand now. Someone else is sitting next to you in your car and some one else is lying on the bed that we chose together. The very room that was built to cater to our needs as a couple, the shared closet, the bed, the toilet, the tv and the desk was all built with us in mind. That very room where i've walked up and down nude, where we had sex, made love is now a room tainted. Tainted is the right word because that's what we have become.
Days like these I cannot comprehend how you can decide to let us go. How you can decide to let us go without even trying or giving us a chance.How you live or sleep at night knowing that you let us go.
Sometimes on my drive home from work, all I do is cry because it hurts. I cry till I feel suffocated because it hurts. My chest hurts from all the pain and sadness.
Days like these, I cannot comprehend how some one I love can treat me like that. How you were my friend before anything else and I would never have expected you to treat me like that.
Days like these, I think, how easy I made it for you. Your transaction from me to another woman was made with such ease. I did not bug you nor did I give you the scolding you deserve .To do so now would serve me no purpose because we've past that mark.
Days like these, I think i'm a fool because i honestly believe, i will forgive you if you come back and i hate myself for being so weak. I realize that I will always love you. No matter what, I gave you all of my trust for so many years.
Days like these, I swear never to be the girl that makes another person not be able to trust anyone else. I don't even know how to begin trusting some one new. I also believe that she will get what she deserves because her euphoria is exactly like mine when I first started. Thinking that it will last. =(
Days like these, all I can tell myself is that it will get better. Tomorrow will come and it wont be the same day anymore. Tomorrow will come.
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Sunday, February 24, 2013
First post of 2013
Hello,
Sometimes I wonder why I lack consistency in blogging
Anyway, it's 2013. Almost into March soon and so MUCH has happened. Had a life changing experience that rocked my entire world and changed my perspective. so drama. pfft
1. Broke up with Winston. More like he called it off. Was super hurt at first. So much emotions ranging from anger, hurt, disappointment and sadness. Found out 2 weeks later by chance that he has a new girl. a colleague. Anyway, been through the whole drama and shit but I hope they suit each other. I just have to accept that the boy i loved is gone. All these are just memories that we both will have.
2. In my breakup scenario, I seeked all kinds of help from everyone. It showed me who are people who support me and love me to help me through my phase. My cousins are awesome. grandma is awesome, my friends are awesome. Everyone has shown their support be it big or small to tell me that I will get through it.
3. I have done quite a few new things in 2013. I'm thankful that i'm able to try so many new things and meet new people
4. I decide that I'm gonna be more open and receptive to meeting new people. Fixing my beliefs and attitude.
5. I've been on a few dates just to see how it goes =D
6. Met this guy, charming, engaging, attractive. I like him BUT he's a player. He most probably has a girl and yet he flirts like mad with me. IF only it weren't so. Hanging out and talking to him has actually helped me in forgetting my ex a little.
7. Every time i face a block in my path, the first thing i feel like doing is calling my ex to tell him about it and let him give me some shitty comfort. Bad idea.
8. I now really cry less and think lesser of him on a day to day basis.
9. Joined a pole dancing class. i absolutely love it.
10. Been going to the gym regularly and eating healthier. I feel good. I can see minor changes in my body and i guess when u eat healthy you also think healthy.
OK. thats the 10 updates for today. I like ranting here.
p.s - Don't belittle my intelligence by lying to me. it just proves you're a fool
Sometimes I wonder why I lack consistency in blogging
Anyway, it's 2013. Almost into March soon and so MUCH has happened. Had a life changing experience that rocked my entire world and changed my perspective. so drama. pfft
1. Broke up with Winston. More like he called it off. Was super hurt at first. So much emotions ranging from anger, hurt, disappointment and sadness. Found out 2 weeks later by chance that he has a new girl. a colleague. Anyway, been through the whole drama and shit but I hope they suit each other. I just have to accept that the boy i loved is gone. All these are just memories that we both will have.
2. In my breakup scenario, I seeked all kinds of help from everyone. It showed me who are people who support me and love me to help me through my phase. My cousins are awesome. grandma is awesome, my friends are awesome. Everyone has shown their support be it big or small to tell me that I will get through it.
3. I have done quite a few new things in 2013. I'm thankful that i'm able to try so many new things and meet new people
4. I decide that I'm gonna be more open and receptive to meeting new people. Fixing my beliefs and attitude.
5. I've been on a few dates just to see how it goes =D
6. Met this guy, charming, engaging, attractive. I like him BUT he's a player. He most probably has a girl and yet he flirts like mad with me. IF only it weren't so. Hanging out and talking to him has actually helped me in forgetting my ex a little.
7. Every time i face a block in my path, the first thing i feel like doing is calling my ex to tell him about it and let him give me some shitty comfort. Bad idea.
8. I now really cry less and think lesser of him on a day to day basis.
9. Joined a pole dancing class. i absolutely love it.
10. Been going to the gym regularly and eating healthier. I feel good. I can see minor changes in my body and i guess when u eat healthy you also think healthy.
OK. thats the 10 updates for today. I like ranting here.
p.s - Don't belittle my intelligence by lying to me. it just proves you're a fool
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
I'm a lazy person
Looking back, it's been a year plus since my last post. My teeth have all advanced so very much from the first day. I've done 2 wisdom tooth extraction and 2 upper tooth extraction but all at different time's of course. The gap between my tooth is closing, prolly another 0.4 cm to go till the hole closes. I think what tires me out is the drive to the dentist. It takes sooo long because of the jam. Anyway, I can't wait for the gap to close. My dentist has also suggested that I do laser gum removal for my tooth in order to correct my smile. Give me $$$$$.
We also just celebrated Sam's birthday yesterday. Everyone was there. It was so much fun and i think my fatty felt really happy with all the attention that he got from us.
Will also be going through my last day in this company soon.I hope I don't cry and will be starting my new job in Nov 1st. This post is so naggy and boring please blame the fact that I haven't blogged in about a year. uugh.
ok. Over and out
-Gigi Besi-
We also just celebrated Sam's birthday yesterday. Everyone was there. It was so much fun and i think my fatty felt really happy with all the attention that he got from us.
Will also be going through my last day in this company soon.I hope I don't cry and will be starting my new job in Nov 1st. This post is so naggy and boring please blame the fact that I haven't blogged in about a year. uugh.
ok. Over and out
-Gigi Besi-
Monday, June 27, 2011
The First Day
So after contemplating for ages and accumulating resources. I finally have braces on!!
Was scheduled to put it on at 2pm today and when i woke up at 11, I started panicking because I was afraid it was gonna be painful and i'll also be working real soon and im so afraid ppl are gonna laugh. -.- sucks
The process was okkk. My doctor is good because he explains each step as he moves along and also asks me whether it hurts or not. Gentle voice and all.
So what they did was. they put some stuff on my teeth and then installed the brackets one by one.I did not get any extraction because only the front part of my teeth had brackets. The process took abt 20 mins.
I actually took my cousins there for moral support and when the wires were being placed in the brackets. I called them in to have a good laugh at my expense.
After installing the wires. Im now officially with braces. and i can laugh like Ugly Betty. oh yeahhhh.
When i came back. it started feeling abit tight. My inner lips feels abit abrasive because the brackets are sharp. I took a nap and DROOLED. because i cant close my lips. hahahhahah. Woke up from nap and my teeth feels so much tighter and by night time, the feeling was so uncomfortable. I think my teeth actually feels tired from all the pushing.
Im hungry but i couldnt eat. had a light supper and im going to bed now. i hope it feels better tomorrow.
Signing off,
GIGI BESI XOXOXO
Was scheduled to put it on at 2pm today and when i woke up at 11, I started panicking because I was afraid it was gonna be painful and i'll also be working real soon and im so afraid ppl are gonna laugh. -.- sucks
The process was okkk. My doctor is good because he explains each step as he moves along and also asks me whether it hurts or not. Gentle voice and all.
So what they did was. they put some stuff on my teeth and then installed the brackets one by one.I did not get any extraction because only the front part of my teeth had brackets. The process took abt 20 mins.
I actually took my cousins there for moral support and when the wires were being placed in the brackets. I called them in to have a good laugh at my expense.
After installing the wires. Im now officially with braces. and i can laugh like Ugly Betty. oh yeahhhh.
When i came back. it started feeling abit tight. My inner lips feels abit abrasive because the brackets are sharp. I took a nap and DROOLED. because i cant close my lips. hahahhahah. Woke up from nap and my teeth feels so much tighter and by night time, the feeling was so uncomfortable. I think my teeth actually feels tired from all the pushing.
Im hungry but i couldnt eat. had a light supper and im going to bed now. i hope it feels better tomorrow.
Signing off,
GIGI BESI XOXOXO
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